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Lady Gaga calls her fans “The Little Monsters“. I call my fans “Mom & Dad“.
I BELIEVE in aliens.
But, I do NOT BELIEVE in “alien probing”.
I think we’ve misinterpreted their way of saying “LET’S PARTY”.
I am currently casting for a tv show about Burt Reynolds’ life on Telemundo.
FILE UNDER: Nailed the casting audition
When people ask me about my hobbies, I like to tell them “I watch people do crosswords“.
“OK… can you give me 245 minutes? I just need to hop in the shower, slip into my radiation suit, put on my boots, gloves, belt and helmet.”
– Darth Vader’s response to being invited to the movies by The Emperor
FILE UNDER: Call early
I tell hot chicks I’m an agent for Carl’s Jr. television marketing.
A Tweet by @NickSpears
I realized when Kanye started following me on twitter that I would be entertained. For example…
Vine: nick spears