Posted by admin in RANDOM
Although I am a tad disappointed that Justin Bieber got a tattoo, I gotta admit…
I KINDA LOVE IT!

FILE UNDER: Beeb, Ink.
Posted by admin in RANDOM
So, I don’t understand why Tommy Lee Jones wasn’t able to track down the Bronx Zoo Cobra. How hard could it be?
a) Check local drug stores within a 60mi radius for any suspicious cobras buying hair coloring products.
b)Check all magic/novelty stores for any cobras buying fake mustaches.
c) Secure all gas station bathrooms for any unusual cobra activity.
A, B, C… always bust cobras. Boom, ya got em! This is cobra fugitive 101. Rookie stuff.

FILE UNDER: Tommy may need a desk job
Posted by admin in RANDOM
Let’s be very clear… There are only 2 types of people whom are allowed to wear turquoise jewels: Native Americans & Female Fortune Tellers.

FILE UNDER: Stop that. For reals.
Posted by admin in RANDOM
I’ve had the opportunity to wear antlers several times. I’m totally not homophobic, but I always declined because I thought they might make me look gay.

FILE UNDER: Most fabulous Christmas ever.
Posted by admin in RANDOM
In hell, everyone has twice as many freckles as Julianne Moore.

Posted by admin in RANDOM
Most of the time, hope is good. But sometimes, hope can blind us from accepting truth.

Posted by admin in RANDOM
“Basketball Shorts & A Boner” (Track 1 – if I ever record an R&B album)

Posted by admin in RANDOM
If I wasn’t afraid of being kicked… I’d pretty much slap horses on their ass’ 24/7.

Posted by admin in RANDOM
FILE UNDER: Not allowed anywhere near my wiener

Posted by admin in RANDOM
I eat my corn using a neck brace harmonica holder.
