Comedian. Writer. Actor. Falconer.
RANDOM
Nick Spears is a really odd guy. Browse through some of Nick random thoughts, art, etc.
Kanye Tweets About Otis Video
May 6th
I realized when Kanye started following me on twitter that I would be entertained. For example…
Really Fat Ladies
Apr 11th
It’s kinda awesome how every body part on a really fat lady feels like a boob.
FILE UNDER: Niiiiiice elbows.
Street Drummers
Apr 6th
Street drummers are accountable for 87% of all missing home depot shopping buckets.
FILE UNDER: Fact I just made up, but is probably true.
Justin Bieber’s Tattoo
Apr 2nd
Although I am a tad disappointed that Justin Bieber got a tattoo, I gotta admit…
I KINDA LOVE IT!
FILE UNDER: Beeb, Ink.
Fugitive 3
Apr 1st
So, I don’t understand why Tommy Lee Jones wasn’t able to track down the Bronx Zoo Cobra. How hard could it be?
a) Check local drug stores within a 60mi radius for any suspicious cobras buying hair coloring products.
b)Check all magic/novelty stores for any cobras buying fake mustaches.
c) Secure all gas station bathrooms for any unusual cobra activity.
A, B, C… always bust cobras. Boom, ya got em! This is cobra fugitive 101. Rookie stuff.
FILE UNDER: Tommy may need a desk job
Darth Vader Gets Ready
Mar 24th
“OK… can you give me 245 minutes? I just need to hop in the shower, slip into my radiation suit, put on my boots, gloves, belt and helmet.”
- Darth Vader’s response to being invited to the movies by The Emperor
FILE UNDER: Call early
Burt Reynolds
Mar 17th
I am currently casting for a tv show about Burt Reynolds’ life on Telemundo.
FILE UNDER: Nailed the casting audition
Turquoise Jewelry
Mar 2nd
Let’s be very clear… There are only 2 types of people whom are allowed to wear turquoise jewels: Native Americans & Female Fortune Tellers.
FILE UNDER: Stop that. For reals.
Antlers
Feb 18th
I’ve had the opportunity to wear antlers several times. I’m totally not homophobic, but I always declined because I thought they might make me look gay.
FILE UNDER: Most fabulous Christmas ever.
