Comedian. Writer. Actor. Falconer.
SNOB
Nick Spears loves him sum music and movies. Here’s his two cents.
Favorite Comedy Movies of 2010
Jan 5th
1. MACGRUBER
Why?: This is a stupid and raunchy comedy. But, I know that Will Forte isn’t stupid. That makes it clever and brave. It took me back to the ‘Naked Gun’ type comedies. What really made it stand out was the diverse and highly talented cast and insanely good action scenes. You sometimes forget you’re watching a “comedy” until Will Forte slaps you in the face and reminds you “This isn’t an action flick, but I sure am having fun making fun of one!” I saw this twice in the theaters and another in a hotel room. Don’t ask.
Best Moment: I’d have to say it’s a tie between the heart-to-heart beer chat scene AND the throat rips.
Favorite Character: Will Forte as MacGruber
2. The OTHER GUYS
Why?: Let me being by stating I thought this movie would be average. I saw Samuel Jackson & The Rock in the trailer and thought “What are you thinking McKay???”. And honestly, who cares if Mark Wahlberg was a miscast? He did just fine. The star was Will Ferrell. For everything we love this guy for, he delivered. His scenes as a pimp were pant pissers. Don’t forget about Michael Keaton. His entire TLC references were golden. I was so happy to see him in a comedy. He’s still one of my favorites. I saw this 3 times in the theaters.
Best Moment: When Will is ranting at the dinner table as his alter-pimp-ego “Gator”. I soiled my pants.
Favorite Character: Will Ferrell as Gator
3. PIRANHA
Why?: Director Alexandre Aja hit a horror/comedy home run. Cheesy horror flicks don’t need to try and trick us into thinking they are better than they really are. Piranha is the way they used to be, and the way they should be. I was entertained, grossed out, and laughing the entire time. A super fun movie. I saw it 3 times in the theater. It was great seeing fellow comedians Paul Scheer and Adam Scott in this flick. Jerry O’Connell was a perfect sleaze bag too. Casting Liz Shue, Christopher Lloyd and Richard Dreyfuss didn’t hurt the cause. Epic.
Best Moment: When the piranha spit out the penis at the camera. I’d like to shake hands with the special effects nerd that worked on that for weeks at end.
Favorite Character: Jerry O’Connell as Derrick
4. HOT TUB TIME MACHINE
Why?: I had the pleasure of watching this movie with the writers Sean Anders and John Morris. I was a tad nervous I was going to have to exaggerate my laughs to not insult them, but I can assure you my laughs were genuine, and many. It was just like watching a modernized John Hughes movie. A hilarious cast, and it was great to see Chevy and Crispin doing comedic cameos. This movie was to Rob Corddry as ‘The Hangover’ was to Zach. Rob stole the show and paved the road to his comedic future. I ended up seeing it 3 times in the theater.
Best Moment: The closing credits music video montage to “Home Sweet Home“. For anyone who’s seen the original Motley Crue video, it’s spot on and hilarious.
Favorite Character: Rob Corddry as Lou
5. CYRUS
Why?: I’m a huge John C. Riley fan. I have been since I first saw him in ‘Boogie Nights’ asking Dirk Diggler how much he benches. Know who else I’m a fan of? Jonah Hill, Catherine Keener and Marisa Tomei. Some people will think this film is boring and pointless, but I’d argue that it may be slightly boring, but not pointless in the slightest. This movie was real life. Nothing’s funnier than normal everyday life. Not all good comedy flicks need to be full of vulgarity and farts. The writing was intelligent and the delivery by the actors did it justice. I earned a lot of respect for Jonah Hill in this flick. He showed depth as a comic, but more importantly as an actor. A lot of comedians try the more serious roles, but only a handful pull it off. (Jim Carrey is the exception. He can rule in movies like Eternal Sunshine, Truman Show, and Man on the Moon… and then totally suck in a movie like The Number 23.) OK, we got off topic there. Good job Jonah. Cheers to you babe.
Best Moment: When John C. Riley gets wasted at the party and spills his guts out to the chick on the couch. I’ve been that guy, and John nailed it.
Favorite Character: John C. Riley as John
6. Dinner for Schmucks
Best Moment: The entire scene in Paul Rudd’s apartment with Steve Carrell and the crazy stalker chick. Reminded me of an old Pink Panther scene. Physical comedy gold.
Favorite Character: Jemaine Clement as Kieran
7. Due Date
Best Moment: The scene at night in the car when Robert Downey Jr wakes up to Zach… well, you know. Hilarious.
Favorite Character: Zach Galifinakis as Ethan
8. Greenberg
Best Moment: I loved the scene with Ben interacting at his niece’s house party. The movie had built up his awkward character, so you knew he was gonna act a fool.
Favorite Character: Ben Stiller as Roger
9. Despicable Me
Best Moment: When Gru tries to infiltrate Vector’s mansion. It’s rare for an animated movie to make me really laugh. An impressive movie.
Favorite Character: Jason Segel as Vector
10. Get Him to the Greek
Best Moment: I hate to say it, but the scenes with Puff Daddy were really funny. Yeah, I still call him Puff.
Favorite Character: Jonah Hill as Aaron
Honorable Mentions:
- Diary of a Wimpy Kid
- I Love You Phillip Morris
- JackAss 3D
Worst Comedy of 2010:
- GROWN UPS
Dear Adam Sandler,
please stop making cheesy romantic comedies with your inner circle. I know your strategy. Cast a super hot chick so you can creep on her in your puppy dog ways. It’s old and I’m over it. I haven’t stalked one of your movies since The Wedding Singer. Sure, they all have their “moments”, but the remainder of these movies are almost unbearable. ‘Regin Over Me’ and ‘Punch Drunk Love’ are amazing though. Maybe you should stick to be a depressed crazy person? Seriously, how do you totally ruin a comedy with a cast of Spade, Rock, Schnider, Rudolf, Quinn, Meadows, Buscemi, and James? BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE.
Sincerely,
Nick Spears
p.s. Please cast me in your next movie. I’ll even change my last name to Spearstein if I have too. 
The RUMANIAN BUCK Stops Here
Nov 25th
When I found out one of my favorite frontmen and overall rock voices had created an album outside of his norm, I was a tad nervous. When I say “norm”, I mean his normal band, The Giraffes, who are far from normal. The Giraffes are like the needle in the haystack when it comes to good music. The kind of music that is art. The kind that has been untouched by the claws of radio producers. The Giraffes are as raw and soulful as a 19 year-old ac/dc, mixed with some surf and punk just in the right places. My praising is to display why I was nervous. How could this band be topped?
Luckily it wasn’t. Instead, frontman Aaron Lazar created something completely unique rather than cloning the Giraffe sound. The outcome was Rumanian Buck. The album is poetically sizeable. I’ve had it for 8 months and haven’t pulled it out of rotation. I won’t throw labels at what their sound is. It’s just not that type of band.
This is a video I threw together for their song “It’s Me”…
Get on your itunes and cash out on Rumanian Buck & The Giraffes. Support Good Music.
If I made an emo Album…
Nov 23rd
I am addicted to SODIUM. Not sodom. SODIUM. They say the first step is admitting you have a problem. Step 1 complete.
Tracks
1. Tabasco Drenched Eggs & Turkey Bacon
2. Chips & Salsa Love Affair
3. Spicy Tuna Roller
4. Costco Road Dogs
5. Put them Jalapenos on my Popcorn Baby
6. Pepperchini’s & Turkey Blitz
7. Macho Mustard Man
8. You’re F**kin Corn Nuts!
9. Ketchup Bleeds from My Veins
** Suck on My Sunflower Seed (bonus track)
Harry Potter & Nerds with Wands
Nov 21st
I went to opening night of Harry Potter and the Death Gallows or whatever the hell it’s called. Part one. Part I. Who gives a crap? I was there to support a buddy who was being the “Father of the Millennium” by sucking it up and waiting in line for 3hrs so his boys could get their nerd on. Watching this movie with virgin Harry Potter eyes I could only notice 2 things.
1. This movie proves that Rowling totally rips off J.R. Tolkien and the Rings trilogy. Here is my evidence: It’s basically a group of peeps protecting Harry Potter (aka: Frodo), they even find a piece of jewelry that makes them nasty if they wear it too long (the ring), oh yeah, they also have this little creature that helps them out and acts as a guide at times (Gollum).
2. It’s a classic love triangle that feeds off the Beiber Nation girl crowd. Two best friends, both in love with the same little teeny bopper. Lame. Bros before ho’s boys. Don’t let your pee pee alter your decision making when it comes to saving the world.
Anyways, that’s my two cents. I know there are major HP stalkers out there, but doesn’t look like you’re getting my support. I’ll stick with Star Wars. At least my dudes have laser swords and not lil’ wooden sticks that can easily snap in half. I’d love to see Lord Voldemort step to the Emperor.
Pass the Spades & Blades
Nov 14th
November 11, 2010
A very tall and round man approaches me. He is head to toe in denim. An American flag hanky lurks from his back pocket. Tattoos and beard that would make Valient Himself nod in a “not bad, not bad at all” type of way. Our mutual friend introduces us and I quickly discover he’s a musician, go figure. I ask him, no wait, I didn’t ask him – he told me, “we sound kinda like Pantera and Killswitch”. Ok, I think. That’s a heavy statement. I smile and reply, “awesome. I’m a fan already.” It get’s better when I find out the band’s name is “Spades & Blades”. My mind instantly starts imaging Motorhead and whiskey.
November 13, 2010
It’s 2 days later when I get the call. Spades & Blades is playing tonight. Shoes tied, sweatshirt, ready to go. My buddy and I can’t find the spot. Oh wait, is that it? Yup. Tiny little spot in the side of a warehouse. We have a chuckle and then suck it up. We drove all this way, hell, this might be epic. I’m old, but shit, I’m not too cool for school. We hang with the rest of the crowd in the parking lot while the band sets up. A toddler runs by and knocks down some guitar cases sitting outside. This is getting more classic by the minute. Sound check, the cattle migrates to the door. One door. One way in, one way out. It’s the size of a 3 car garage, standing room only. Very metal.
SPADES & BLADES a 5 piece. Lead guitarist (Josiah Wiswell) has long straight jet black hair, doesn’t look over 23 years old. Drummer (Tj Styles) is a thicker dude, looks like he either played high school football, or beat up high school football players and swooped their chicks. Bassist (Garrett Rizzi) has that Scott Pilgrim look. Awkward mustache and bangs, hoodie, but I’m digging this guy. He looks like the stoner metal head that is really there to jam and could care less about “the image”. Rhythm guitarist (Justin Havoc) is the dude I met. He’s pretty legit. Bald on top, but sporting the full metal long hair, single black leather vest exposing his giant tatted stomach and lumberjack arms. He’s playing a sunburst, he just looks like a good ole texas metal ripper. Then there’s the singer (Jason Todd). Disclaimer: This dude rubbed me the wrong way from the start, so I’m not gonna be praising him, but let me say this… He meant well. He seemed like he was there to make sure everyone was having fun. Unfortunately, he just bugged me. He had that theater persona to him, which came off a little too cheesy at times when it was completely unnecessary. Think M. Shadows meets used car salesman. During their set, he went on 3 rants:
Rant #1 Facebook – He discussed how the crowd should add them on facebook, even though he thought “facebook was gay”. Somehow, I wasn’t buying it.
Rant #2 Merch – He continues to tell everyone how broke they are, and how we should buy t-shirts from them so they can afford burritos after the show. Dude, we get it, but I just gave you $16 (That’s like 14 bean burritos at Del) so my buddy and I could come watch you shred. Get to it.
Rant #3 Water – He goes on a diva tantrum about how there was no water for him on stage. He makes a production of drinking from his drummer’s water bottle. Like we care?
My point is – this dude probably wasted 2 full songs worth of time being “cute” on stage. Now, I understand the need to “connect” with the crowd and your fans, but be a little quicker and more metal about it. If you show up at a show, hop on stage and just shred… you will sell merch. Shit, you might even get a few facebook amigos out of the deal. Maybe I’m just a snob, but that’s my two cents.
I actually found a video on YouTube that solidifies my statements…
Back to the music! It was pretty solid. The drummer and rhythm guitarist were the backbone. The lead shredder was good, but I think he was holding back on really making the songs more unique. They had their own sound, but a lot of the songs blended for my virgin ears. The crowd was 50/50. There were a few fans there, singing along and head banging. Others were just acting as statues. A chick in front of me actually had a baby strapped to her chest with earmuffs on. I couldn’t believe it. It was LOUD.
Would I go see Spades & Blades again? Sure, why not. I just hope the singer uses his energy screaming lyrics rather than causing me to play Words with Friends on my phone in between songs.
To check out Spades and Blades, go to their site: http://spadesandblades.com/
Or check them out on facebook! (Ha, I had to say it) Spades & Blades think Facebook is GAY!
For Those About to Rock… We Salute the Bronx
Nov 14th
In a gloomly land of punk rock, bands like Rise Against, Paramore, & The Offspring rule the land. But, if you dig deep enough into the heart and soul of the dark and musty caves of Los Angeles & New York; you will find a refreshing sea of musicians. The word “musician” does not do justice to these folk, the term “artist” is a better fit. One of the artists leading this underground revolution is a hard hitting group simply dubbed “The Bronx”.
The Bronx may not have the cleanest sound, nor the most complex song structure, but what they have is soul, something that 1 of every 50 punk bands actually have nowadays. Their sound is unique, but could be best described as a love child between the Stooges & Black Flag. Their songs are full of punch to the gut simplicity, fast bass grooves and guitar hooks, but most importantly, mud thick rich lyrics. Frontman, Matt Caughthran, grabs you by the back of the neck and pulls you close as he soulfully yells his message in your face. The first track “Knifeman” off the newest Bronx album (The Bronx III) proves just that…
“And I don’t know what’s found.
‘Cause we used to be gifted, and persistent.
Now we’re bored, reminiscent.
We used to laugh without misery, spoon-fed our desire
We’ve lost our fire!”
If you haven’t heard The Bronx, do it now and turn off your radio.
myspace.com/thebronx
Go here to read the lyrics from any Bronx song:
http://www.plyrics.com/b/bronx.html
My Top 5 All-Time Bronx Songs:
“Rape Zombie” (The Bronx II)
“Heart Attack American”(The Bronx)
“Past Lives” (The Bronx III)
“Six Days a Week” (The Bronx III)
“White Guilt” (The Bronx II)